The Story of Blake

On January 5, 2001, I did a home pregnancy test to confirm my suspicion that I was pregnant.  Actually, I think I did five tests because the positive results were so weak.  My husband looked at each test result and kept telling me, “You’re not pregnant.”  I knew I was pregnant because of the way I felt.

I was excited and scared to death.  This would be my seventh pregnancy.  I had already had six miscarriages.  I immediately called my doctor.  I knew that I needed to have my progesterone level checked right away.  With my last two pregnancies, the level was too low and I had to take progesterone supplements.  Unfortunately, even though I began taking progesterone, I still lost those two pregnancies.

I was sent for blood work right away, so the doctor would have the results when I came in for my first visit.  At my first visit, the doctor confirmed that I was in fact pregnant.  And yes, my progesterone level was too low.  He wrote two prescriptions:  one for progesterone and another for weekly blood work to monitor my progesterone level.  I would most likely have to remain on progesterone until my 13^th week.  I was scheduled to have an ultrasound and referred to the doctors at the Mid-Atlantic Maternal Fetal Institute for further testing because of my history of miscarriage.

A few days later, I went in for my first ultrasound.  There was a yolk sac, but no heartbeat.  Of course, I assumed the worst when I saw there wasn’t a heartbeat.  The doctor told me not to worry yet.  It was very early in my pregnancy, and it was possible that it was too soon to find a heartbeat.  I was scheduled for a second ultrasound the following week.  That whole week I worried.  I was sure it was going to happen again.  I really didn’t think it was possible for me to have a baby.

Thank God, the next ultrasound showed a heartbeat.  My husband and I went for the appointment at the Mid-Atlantic Maternal Fetal Institute.  This appointment included Genetic Counseling as well as a visit with a Perinatologist.  My husband and I were both questioned about our family medical history.  It was pretty much determined that there wasn’t any family medical history of birth defects that would contribute to my recurring miscarriages.  Chromosome testing and a bunch of other blood work were ordered for me.  My husband was not tested.  My first six pregnancies were with my ex-husband.  My husband already had two boys and it was a fact that he could have children.  The problem was with me (my ex-husband also had a child from his second marriage).

Each week I went for blood work to check my progesterone level.  I continued to take the progesterone, which made me feel miserable.  It was everything I could do to force myself out of bed each morning. I was constantly dizzy and nauseous.  I traveled more than an hour each way to and from work.  The travel time combined with a lot of overtime made for some very long, tiring days.

When the results of the blood work ordered by the Perinatologist came in, I received a phone call at work.  He explained over the phone that I had a genetic blood clotting disorder called Lieden Factor 5 mutation, which was causing my miscarriages.  This disorder causes the tiny blood vessels that line the uterus and the placenta to become blocked (clotted).  The blood supply to the baby is cut off, causing fetal growth retardation or death.  I had to immediately begin injecting myself twice a day with Heparin.  The injections would continue until a couple weeks before my due date.  I would be taken off the Heparin in advance of delivery to ensure I didn’t experience any bleeding problems when the baby was born.  Bi-weekly ultrasounds would be necessary to monitor the growth of the baby.  Then, beginning in my 30^th week, non-stress tests would be performed twice a week to monitor the baby.  These tests would have to continue for the remainder of my pregnancy.

This was all quite overwhelming.  I went in to the doctor’s office the next day to learn how to give myself the shots.  I was given a lot of information about Heparin therapy and a prescription for the Heparin.  It was all very scary.  I had a very difficult time getting the prescription for Heparin filled.  Pharmacies didn’t stock the concentration per milliliter that I needed.  I drove from pharmacy to pharmacy with no luck.  All I could think was, I was just told my baby would die if I didn’t give myself these shots and now I can’t find the stuff anywhere.

Finally, I found a medical supply pharmacy that had half the concentration that I needed.  I would have to inject twice as much per shot, temporarily.  The pharmacy would order the correct concentration for me.  I began giving myself the shots.  The injections weren’t that bad.  The bruising and bleeding from the injection sites were what bothered me the most.  Luckily, I had made it to 13 weeks and I could stop taking the progesterone!  At least the shots didn’t make me feel bad physically.

I lived from ultrasound to ultrasound to see that the baby was still alive.  I truly did not believe this baby would be born.  After six miscarriages, I was sure I would lose this one too.  Having ultrasounds every two weeks was nice.  I got to see my baby grow.  It’s amazing the things that can be seen in an ultrasound.  I saw hands, feet, toes, the heart, the brain, ribs, arms and legs, and yes, even though I was sure I didn’t want to know, I saw it was a boy.  We found this out at 16 weeks.  He was immediately named Blake.

More problems were still to come.  A routine AFP test came back positive for Downs Syndrome.  My husband and I struggled with what we should do.  I wanted to know if the baby was OK, but I knew there was a risk of miscarriage with amniocentesis.  I was afraid I would lose the baby from the amnio.  After a couple stressful days of thinking, we finally decided to have the amnio done.

I must say that the procedure was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be.  I only experienced about two seconds of cramping.  The 10 days of waiting for the results were much worse than the procedure itself.  The day after the amnio was performed, I had to return to the hospital to receive a shot of RhoGam.  I’m Rh-negative and I must receive a shot of RhoGam after any occurrence in which the baby’s blood might get into my blood stream.  If I don’t get one of these shots and I’m carrying a baby who is Rh-positive, my blood may develop antibodies that will try to destroy the baby’s blood.  I also must receive one of these shots at 26 weeks of pregnancy and upon delivery of an Rh-positive baby.

Ten days after the amnio, I received the call.  Everything was fine.  No Downs Syndrome.  No neural tube defects.  No chromosome abnormalities.  And yes, he was definitely a boy.  What a relief!

The shots and the ultrasounds continued.  The non-stress tests began.  Everything showed that Blake was fine.  Yet, in the back of my mind I still did not believe he would ever be born alive.  My Group B Strep test came back positive.  One more thing to stress me out.  In my constant search for information, I read about Group B Strep on the Internet.  Of course I imagined the worst.  I took the antibiotics, but still worried that something would go wrong.

My due date rapidly approached.  My doctor told me they didn’t want me to go beyond this date.  They had gotten me this far and they didn’t want to take any chances.  Ultrasounds and non-stress tests showed Blake was big and healthy.  One week prior to my due date, I was told my labor would be induced if I didn’t deliver before my next visit.

On the day of my next visit, I had a 10 AM appointment for a non-stress test, prior to my OB/GYN appointment.  On the way to the hospital that morning, my niece called me.  She wanted to know if I had heard about what was happening at the World Trade Center and the Pentagon.  It was September 11, 2001.  When she called, neither of the towers had yet collapsed.  During the non-stress test, my husband and I watched as the buildings fell.

That afternoon I went to see my OB/GYN.  I was due the next day.  I wasn’t dilated at all.  She told me she wanted me to meet her at the hospital at 7 AM the next day to be induced.  She called the hospital to arrange the induction.  She was informed they could not schedule any elective procedures because of what was happening in New York City.  All empty beds had to remain open in case they were needed for over-flow of people hurt during the terrorist attacks.

At 9 AM the next morning, I received a call from the doctor.  I was to get to the hospital right away for my induction.  I was told to go directly to Labor and Delivery and not to bother with registration because it would take too long.  The midwife from the office was going to meet me to get me started with Cervidil to start me dilating.  Once I began to dilate, I would be given Pitocin.  The trip from home to the hospital took about an hour.

When we arrived, I went right up to Labor and Delivery.  Mike went to registration.  I was hooked up to a monitor that showed I was having contractions that I did not feel.  At 1:30 PM, the midwife arrived and gave me the first dose of Cervidil.  I was not dilated at all.  I was told Cervidil could be given every 12 hours.  The midwife said she really didn’t think the doctor would come in at 1:30 AM for the next dose, she would most likely be in the next morning.  Since I was not dilated at all, it was going to be at least another 24 hours before Blake would be born.  She prescribed something I could take later that night to help me sleep, if I wanted it.

The contractions that I could not feel continued all day.  That evening, I was told the doctor was going to come in around 10:30 PM to give me the next dose of Cervidil.  She was right on time.  She pushed that Cervidil up so far I thought it would come out my nose!!!!  I really think she broke my water even thought they told me no.  She said I still was not dilated and she would see me in the morning.  It would be at least another 24 hours.

I immediately started having painful contractions.  I thought to myself, twenty-four hours of this and I will die!!!  I asked for the stuff the midwife ordered to help me sleep.  At midnight, I asked for something for pain.  They told me they had to call the doctor before they could give me anything.  One nurse examined me and said I wasn’t dilated.  Another said I was either not dilated at all, or I was 7 centimeters.

The next thing I remember is it was all I could do to keep from pushing.  No one told me what was happening or just how soon Blake would be born.  I remember holding onto the headboard of the bed concentrating on not pushing.  I don’t remember any pain at that point (even though they never gave me anything for pain).  I guess focusing on fighting the uncontrollable urge to push blocked to pain.  I sort of remember them telling me they had called the doctor and she was on her way.  It was all like an out-of-body experience, I think because of what they gave me to help me sleep.

The doctor arrived.  I remember pushing a couple times.  Then at 4:22 AM on Thursday, September 13, 2001, Blake Edward KinKade entered the world.  His cord was wrapped around his neck twice.  Luckily it was very long and didn’t cause any problems.  He weighed 8 lbs. & 4 ozs..  His Apgar scores were 8 and 9.

I guess I was very lucky because labor and delivery were really not that bad compared to my pregnancy.  In my memory, it seemed like it took about 20 minutes of pushing before he was born.  Mike says it was more like an hour.  Every bit of everything I went through was worth it.  Blake and his little sister Alyssa are the best things that have ever happened in my life.

Three weeks prior to that I went into preterm labor and was in the hospital for 8 days, and then home on bed rest for another two weeks. As soon as I got to the hospital, and I was 33 weeks, I was started on Heparin shots, given steroids for baby’s lungs, and was on strict bed rest.

Four days before delivery I knew that baby was coming. There were ‘signs’. I packed everything just in case. Lo and behold the morning of my 36 week checkup I started having contractions in my back again. When the doctor checked me I was already dilated to a 6, and five hours later I had a c-section and a healthy little girl.

Baby C was breach, and hence the c-section, which went well and I recovered very quickly. I am still on Lovenox until 6 weeks post-delivery (only two more weeks at this point).

Although the pregnancy was really difficult for various reasons I feel successful because we have a healthy baby. I am amazed and grateful that modern medicine is advanced enough to treat blood clotting so that so many of us women can bring children into the world.

So here she is, my one and only darling little girl

I cannot believe that I only have 7 or 8 weeks left of this pregnancy. That concept blows my mind! I am finally letting go of my fears of complications and just enjoying being pregnant despite still feeling constantly nauseated and constant headaches. All the sonograms and non-stress tests are going well…this baby is really going to happen!

My mind has been all-consumed with the H1N1/swine flu issue. There are too many people I know who have had it and recovered. There are many women I know who are pregnant and concerned, too. There are many reports on how the vaccine is safe, many who have taken it and are fine, some who received it and had some side effects. There are skeptics that confuse me, and my two Doctors who make me feel safe. Still, I am confused.

These are my thoughts so far, and I would love to get some opinions, feedback and even any supporting articles/links either pro or against the vaccine.

• If I practice impeccable hygiene and keep my distance from sick friends/family or germ-prone places, I should be fine. However, if I happen to catch the swine flu, it could be fatal.
• I have read reports that the H1N1 vaccine is made the same way as the seasonal flu vaccine (which I have had many times without problems). I have also heard of side effects, but there are no medications without side effects because everyone is different and responds differently to medications and/or vaccines.
• I have NOT read anything proving that pregnant women or unborn babies have died as a direct result of the vaccine. Am I wrong, and where is the credible proof?
• I can never be too careful in keeping myself healthy, and with only 8 weeks to go I want to do what I need to do to keep myself alive and bring this baby into the world alive, healthy and whole.

Please share your opinions!

The past four weeks have gone by fast! Now that I’m past the half-way mark the time seems to be moving at a faster pace which I like, but on the other hand I am realizing how much I need to do, and haven’t done.

THINGS DONE:

• registered a three different places, thinking of dropping Babies R Us because their prices are outrageous.
• baby shower number one (a surprise), which marks the beginning of collecting the necessities.
• research cloth diapering, decided to do it and do use gDiapers (that is another post all in itself).
• decided on a name = Isabella. And no, I am not naming my son Edward, sorry.
• bought a pattern for a blessing dress, which my mother will be making from the scraps of my wedding dress (I love you, Mom!)

THINGS TO DO:

• rearrange our one-bedroom apartment to fit baby things in bedroom, and feeling grateful I have at least 1,000 sq feet to work with
• buy crib set from Amazon. A friend of mine found these sets on the cheap, and I’m okay with NOT spending almost $200 for something my baby is going to poop all over.
• pick up crib, swing, Pack and Play thing, and misc from my awesome friend who donated them to me (and all in nearly-new condition)
• write thank you card and make bread for this wonderful friend
• research diaper bags (Diaper Dude seems to be comfortable enough…I have to be able to sling it over my body). Suggestions welcome
• buy materials to make changing table (I’m tall- – I need one made special). Kiss and thank husband for offering to make it.
• figure out what else I need to do.

FVL  Experience

I spent a couple of hours with a friend of mine on Saturday. During her first pregnancy she found out she had FVL (heterozygous) and only took a baby aspirin for the last 3 months of pregnancy #1. She is now 6 weeks along with #2 and has been concerned and interested in learning more about the condition. We had a long talk which resulted in a commitment from her to ask her Doctor to look through her medical records (she has had clotting before) and to recommend a high-risk Doctor. I’m am so glad that she felt comfortable enough to seek my advice, although limited.

In reality, having blood clotting disorders, of any kind, should not be taken lightly. Nor does it mean for us women that it would only affect us during pregnancy. We can develop clots anywhere at anytime. Another friend of mine decided not to get tested even after learning that her four sisters all have FVL. Her reason is that she has five children so she is fine. Maybe that is true. Maybe she does not have FVL or any other variation of disorder, however, that does not make her exempt from clotting.

Hopefully we clotters understand that our risk is not in pregnancy only, and that we encourage other women and mothers-to-be to get tested and educated so that we can take care of ourselves.

Until next time – and I promise it won’t be a month,

Me

PS – I think I need to update my blog to look a little girly

I find it really interesting (and a bit humorous) that when I started telling my circle of friends that I was having a girl I started hearing all sorts of horror stories. “Well, my sister thought she was having a girl but then it came out a boy!” Or even better, I got the “don’t buy anything pink until you are 100% sure” advice, or the classic “your doctor could be wrong”. Geez, burst my happy bubble already. Sheesh. All I wanted was some excitement. Is that too much to ask?

So I get all worried and when I saw my Perinatologist two days ago the first thing I ask is if everything is okay. Yes, he tells me. The second question is if he is certain that the baby is still a girl. Yes, it is, he assures me. I got curious and asked him to show me how he knows it is a girl and he electronically pointed to a ‘girl part’. Then I asked him if he has ever been wrong. His answer, which made me feel better, is that he has never been wrong about gender identification after 14 weeks. Suh-weet! So no more stories about how my little girl could be a boy, ok? I am having this crazy little girl and she is going to wear pink, purple and all sorts of frilly things. End of story.

Oh- -and we got a video of the sonogram. I highly, highly recommend it.  We invested a few bucks and it’s been the best investment so far. I think we’ll opt for a video again when we see her in four weeks. Very, very worth it.

On a side note, my Twitter followers are increasing, which surprises me since I am the most awful Twitterer (?) on the planet. I guess I need to beef up my Tweets

This last sonogram was good, baby is growing fine and still no signs of clotting in the uterus or placenta. I feel like patting my Lovenox shots on the back Believe me when I say that every appointment that produces good news makes me feel better and better and more confident that this baby is going to actually make it!

A few days after our good news I was at WalMart and noticed that the cutest little onsies were on sale. So I bought one for a whopping $3.00 and now feel officially open to baby shopping season. For some crazy reason I am also in the sewing mood (which never, ever happens) and have started some burp  rags for a friend of mine who is having a girl. I think slowly but surely I am starting to get in the mood to think pink, although the thought has not quite sunk in all the way yet.

I hope all my ‘gals’ who are keeping up with me (and who are also expecting or in the same blood clotting boat) are doing well! Keep me posted on your progress, too!

Some thoughts after 15 weeks of pregnancy have passed…

• Saltine crackers didn’t do a thing for my nausea, but seems to be the number food advice that flies out of any woman’s mouth when they hear I have been so sick.

• In fact, nothing really helped. It varied by day and time.

• “Morning Sickness” should be stricken from pregnancy lingo and replaced with “Pregnancy Sickenss” since I felt bad all day and night, not only in the mornings.

• At 15 weeks I feel a lot of baby movements, more like squirming (not kicking) and it feels really, really weird.

• I don’t feel any better and I am waiting for that day when I do (and please come soon!)

• Cravings really don’t exist in my pregnancy world right now. I just have to eat whatever doesn’t sound nauseating.

• The smell of bread toasting or chicken broiling are my two worst enemies, and next to that is heavy, musky perfume that someone (I don’t know who) wears to church all the time. Ew.

• I have been very exhausted and thankful that I can sleep in to my little hearts content…because I hear that once I have this kid I won’t have that luxury anymore.

• The past week I have told more people that I am expecting and they are all shocked that I am past tri-one and didn’t say anything earlier. Is that so uncommon to say something after 12 weeks? I didn’t think so.

• No one, not even my husband, can tell that I have a baby bump but I know it’s there because I feel it getting bigger and bigger…I wonder when it will be noticeable? Hm.

• My Mom is probably more excited about this baby than anyone I know…she is very anxious to start sewing anything and everything that I want. Sweet!

• I am thankful that I still have 23 weeks to prepare for the arrival of Baby C. There is so much that I want to do before my life changes.

• Sometimes I feel weird telling people that I am pregnant…mostly people I don’t really know. Is that weird of me to feel that way? Maybe.

• Modern medicine is great, and without it I would have never known about my FVL and MTHFR, nor would I have known what to do to keep this pregnancy going strong.

Tomorrow we (hopefully) find out the baby’s gender. Baby, please don’t cross your legs and be cooperative for Mommie and Daddy : )

During the sonogram the Perinatologist checked again for any clots in the uterus and placenta. I had some bleeding a few days prior to the sonogram which alerted me (naturally). Apparently my recent vomiting caused the bleeding – thank goodness! Still, any bleeding I have needs to be reported no matter what. I am really fine with being overly paranoid because that means that I get medical attention right away. This baby is gonna make it! I just know it!

And just because all my five readers (or less) care, here is another sono that I rotated vertically so you can see the head at the top, feet at the bottom (but tucked under). I love this one because the eyelids, nose and mouth slits are bright, making my Little Squirt look like an angry alien

Senseless Thoughts and Feelings at 10 weeks of Pregnancy (because you really want to know…)

*The constant feeling of being bloated prevents me from being able to suck my tummy in to look thinner.

*Eating a pack of Ding Dongs doesn’t mean I craved them, it means that it was the only thing that sounded edible at the moment.

*Everything stinks – even my favorite candles. Inheriting a ‘Wolverine’ sense of smell has been very nauseating.

*Yes, I can sleep in  until 9 o’clock then take a late afternoon nap and then proceed to effortlessly turn in for bed at 10 o’clock, no problem.

*Just because I have become anti-social doesn’t necessarily mean that I hate my friends, it just means that I hate to smell food and because we normally eat with our friends means that we haven’t done much with them the past two months. Sorry friends.

*Being pregnant doesn’t mean that I am handicapped. I can get off the couch and get my own water, but don’t make me cook. I guess that makes me cooking handicapped.

*I’m considering getting a T-shirt made for when I get much bigger that says “Le’go my Prego” so people feel discouraged from helping themselves to my baby bump. Just don’t touch.

*The bruising on my tummy from the Lovenox shots makes me feel like a pin cushion, but for a good reason of course.

*As much as I hate feeling pukey and sick all the time I have been pretty relieved that I have been so ill, meaning it’s a good sign that things are going well. So my new 1st trimester moto is “Feeling Crappy Makes Me Happy“. Fitting, ain’t it?

Now that I have made it past the week 9 mark I am feeling a bit more at ease. I have two more sonograms in less than two weeks and I’m excited to see the progress this little kid is making. Both my husband and I have a strong feeling that it will be a boy – in fact we felt that way even before it was conceived. Of course we could be wrong but I’m planning buying blue baby stuff

I’m constantly battling all-day sickness and not finding a single thing that helps. What works one day doesn’t work then next, but I’m managing. The Lovenox shots are going well, and although there is bruising it is worth it every time.

I was contacted by another woman by the name of Jodi who just found out that she also has blood clotting issues and will have to do the shots etc.  I remember when I first found out that I had FVL and MTHFR and how I felt. I was stunned but relieved and also nervous about the shots and meds. Now that I am in the moment it is not that bad. There is nothing that I wouldn’t do to bring this child into the world! Thank goodness for modern medicine!